First our flight amenities. You can travel the Redneck Airlines bringing
your mobile home with you. That way you have all the comfort of home right with
you. We have plenty of space to place a number of these homes on the camp
property for you ultimate enjoyment away from home.
If you don’t like flying the
Redneck Airlines, you might find the Purplegimp Travel Airlines, as show here,
much more to your liking. As you can see in the picture. Purplegimp is coming to
give special instructions she has learned fighting the hizzbullies.
As I inferred to Mash, we have
brought in a new, well, not new, but housing
facility that I think will be quite
comfortable for her. And she won’t have
to rent a car while here at the camp. She can drive this thing all over town to
sight see if she wishes on her days off from camp. And no scary heights for her to climb.
Fine dining is available in the nearby
town. As you can see unusual dishes are available.
I hear this is a favorite of Goshawk,
Crawfish, and Gray Ghost. They’ve been sighted eating with the best of Rednecks
the town has to offer.
We have the latest in high tech as
seen here with the Redneck Palm Pilot.
Sgt. Relic will be handling this
technical aspect of the training camp.
After a hard day’s work at the
camp, massages are available by the best in the business. The kitties wanted to
do more than just be suicidal bombers. They wanted to contribute to the comfort of the trainees. So, here is dogged’s cats who have applied
along with dogged to train in our camp. Are they not just the cutest massage artists?
Good shower facilities as you can
see if you can get Harvey Harold Redneck out.
But, he works very hard and loves
the feel of that cool water. It tends to
cool down his trigger finger also. In
other words, he is somewhat of a hothead.
For your sleeping enjoyment or just
plain peace of mind at those times of rest we have the best in Redneck Wind
Chimes to soothe jittery nerves after a workout in camp.
Of course, for your ultimate
comfort, we have the local weather forecast available at all times.
We wouldn’t want to leave out the
comfort of your favorite pets in case you bring them along to train beside you.
Nothing but the finest in the latest of Redneck Pet Carriers.
Laundry facilities are the usual
Redneck clothes line. Whether you need to dry out your pet or your under
things, we have plenty of line strung and ready, clothes pins, no extra charge
either.
For safety we have the Redneck Fire
Exit signs inside the building.
And, as you can see we have our
crack Redneck firemen on hand for dire emergencies.
Oh, just a reminder to stay out of the peanut butter jar. My corgi, Dakota has a special liking for it.
Unfortunately, the above picture
depicts what is NOT allowed during training. Anyone caught in this position
will be immediately expelled from the camp. Save that kind of stuff for Jam Apple’s Bar and Grill.
Folks, the applications are flying in
at this very moment. Get yours in now
and reserve a space for the next upcoming session.
In the next article, I will be
showing you some of the newest of our trainees and some of our rejects. Yes, I
said all Rednecks are welcome, but it seems that some infiltrators have been
trying to fool us. Never fear though, they are immediately kicked out and sent
packing.
In my next installment I will show you just who has been trying to infiltrate our facility.
Finally in the Redneck tradition of bitterness, we say the following prayer:
God Bless America
God Bless Rednecks
God Save Our Republic