I am posting an article I wrote some time ago as it seems timely once again to publish it. For those who may have not seen or read it back when I was writing under Peppermintsplace blog. It is one of the articles I wrote for the Average Man in the Street Series.

 
Previously published on:
Thursday, January 25, 2007 8:50 PM

Interviewer Joe Smith

Interviewee Hillary Clinton

Brought to you by the Average Man in the Street Series

Joe:  It was quite pleasant of you Mrs. Clinton, to suggest we sit and chat with you.
I’m looking forward to our discussion.

Hillary: Oh, my pleasure Joe. I have been looking forward to talking to the
average citizen. I don’t often get this wonderful opportunity, that’s why I
presented my campaign opening by suggesting we chat and have discussions.
There are so many issues on people’s minds today and with all the bi-partisan
squabbling I’m sure the American average Joe, like you must be so
frustrated. We’ve become such a divided nation since Bush took over from my
husband. The country has become the most polarized nation on earth,
unlike the times when my husband was in office and so loved…..

Joe:  Excuse me Mrs. Clinton, but I was hoping we could have a real
discussion about real issues.

Hillary:  Oh, oh, of course, Joe. Just what would you like to discuss?
I have many programs on the table that I would love to tell you about…

Joe:  Excuse me again, Mrs.Clinton, but I would like to ask you some
questions first if you don’t mind. I’d like to stay and talk with you for a long
time, but I do have a job to go to since I am an average citizen.

Hillary:  Oh, of course, Joe, one forgets these kinds of things. Of course
you have a job, but you know most Americans don’t have jobs to go
to and if they do, they are being paid far too little. That’s why I will enact
the fair worker doctrine, where all workers, average ones that is,
will be paid the same amount of wages irregardless of merit…

Joe:  Excuse me again, Mrs. Clinton, but I was sincerely hoping to ask
you some questions on the biggest issues facing our country right now.

 
Hillary:  Yes, yes, I understand, Joe. We have already raised the minimum
wage and I will be working on a health care program that will cover all….

Joe:  Mrs. Clinton, I would really like to turn the subject to something of a
different nature, such as the axis of evil.

 
Hillary:  Oh, my God, Joe. I can’t believe you would bring up such a
personal issue; I really can’t go into that….....

Joe:  Mrs. Clinton, I want to know how you view the axis of evil and
what your plans are…....

Hillary:  Really Joe!! I have no intention of speaking to you about Monica,
Bill, and myself. That issue was resolved a long time ago. I can’t believe
you would even mention it. And, for your information, that dress, the one
with the “stain” was actually mine. I had leant that dress to Monica
without having it dry cleaned. That’s one thing I can’t forgive myself for
because the right wing press and their right wing groups had to make
a big thing out of it. Like Bill would do anything to harm his image and
our marriage. I’ll never forgive that Dobson character, who
ever he is and that Hannity, or is it Colmes, trying to take my husband
down when all he tried to do is the best for this country.
We love our country and Bill and I….....

Joe:  No, Mrs. Clinton, I wasn’t asking about that axis of evil,
I was speaking about…...

Hillary:  I really don’t want to go into Falwell, Dobson, and that other
Christian whatshisname. I think we all have had enough of that kind
of division in this country. With out these Christian right wing nu…,
I mean right wing voters we would have no problems in this country.
Now, they even try to make things up about Islam and it being a right
wing religion. You would think they would be happy to have another
right wing religions group to hang out with. You just can’t make people
happy especially when it revolves around religion. I just don’t under
stand why people get themselves upset over Islam. We need more
diversity in this country…....

Joe:  Mrs. Clinton, I believe you have misunderstood…...

Hillary:  I understand completely Joe. You were just trying to trip me
up with that axis of evil shi…, uh, thing. I get it. I’m not your average
citiz….I mean I wasn’t born yesterday. I know just what you
were up to. You want to bring up the past…..Wait, a minute Joe,
I just need to regain my composure.

Joe:  Mrs. Clinton, when I referred to the axis of evil I meant…...

Hillary:  Darn it, Joe. Is it your notion of a chat to drive me up the wall
with this? I already told you it’s a thing of the past. Bill and I even went
to marriage counseling and Bill learned a lot about being a husband,
and I learned a lot about being a wife. Poor man. His appetites
are so profound. He couldn’t help himself. You know what it’s like
to be the most important person in the world and have women falling all
over you?  Oh, I’m sorry Joe; of course you wouldn’t know that. You’re
just an average slo…., I mean you haven’t had to carry the burden of
being in political office, being president, and having to resist all kinds
of temptation, from fornication to selling classified documents.
Not that anyone did anything of the sort.
I mean, it’s just so difficult on all the family members in the White
House. Everyday another right wing press agent out to get us, to
take my husband down, the pressure, the indignation of it all…...

Joe:  Mrs. Clinton, I have to be back to work in ten minutes so I
haven’t got too much time…..

Hillary:  That’s another thing I’ll take care of for you Joe. When I’m
president I will enact A “fair work place doctrine” that will allow
you to have as much time off work as possible for other reasons as
sick children. But, you know I love the children so much. We can’t do
enough for our children. Every day I see children in need. Just the other
day I saw a very small baby in a dumpster. Can you believe it?
A dumpster of all places!  Joe. The average citizen can’t be throwing small
babies in dumpsters simply because they have not the time
off work to feed them. I’ve never seen anything like it. I really didn’t know
how bad things had gotten in this great country of ours since Bush
took office. I mean I knew we were being pulled apart like hyenas
grabbing a ham sandwich, but to see a small baby, and I mean
it was so small. To think that parents don’t have enough to feed such
small children in this country shows me how far down Bush has brought
us down to their knees, people suffering terribly….....

Joe:  Mrs. Clinton, were you visiting an abortion clinic lately?

Hillary:  Joe, what kind of person are you?  You say you wanted to chat.
But all you have done is throw ugly things in my face. I don’t visit abortion
clinics, Joe. I don’t plan on having any more children. For God’s sake,
having Chelsea was plenty and making those dumb Christmas ornaments
and cookies to be sent of to that private school just to make an impression
…, I mean to help out those less fortunate than ourselves. You see we
always made nice little things to be given to the poor around Christmas
even though I personally don’t believe in such things. Those kinds
of things should come from the government….

Joe: EXCUSE ME, Mrs. Clinton; I was trying to ask you about North Korea,
Iran, Syria, those countries that are presenting a grave threat…

Hillary:  Oh, that kind of evil. Why didn’t you say so to begin with Joe? 
Now, actually, Joe, I have to leave. It’s a busy schedule when running
for president and I have another chat lined up.  Thanks so much for your
time. I’m so glad we had this wonderful chat.